


Letters from Storybrooke

by AshKnight



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-02
Updated: 2014-04-02
Packaged: 2018-01-17 23:16:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1406221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshKnight/pseuds/AshKnight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma has moved back to Boston with Henry, and Regina has been writing her letters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Letters from Storybrooke

Dear Miss Swan,

It's been almost two weeks since you left Storybrooke for Boston, and I already anticipate your next visit. Things feel strange here without Henry. How is he? I hope that he misses me at least half as much as I miss him. I'm sure he's doing fine though. You are a perfectly capable mother. I am sorry that I ever doubted you.

Regina Mills

_Dear Regina,_

_Henry is doing just fine, but he does miss you. He can't wait to visit, but perhaps you should come down here sooner. I don't think he wants to wait until his school break to see you again. I also have a spare bedroom in the apartment that you're welcome to stay in. It's certainly not as grand as your mansion, but at least you'd be close to Henry. He truly does care for you. I think sometimes he wishes we had never left Storybrooke. Often, I feel the same. I doubt blame you for doubting my parenting skills. I doubted yours just as much. There was a time I didn't even believe that you loved him. You know, sometimes your actions speak louder than your words, but I think I've come to understand you enough to know that having me there was just difficult for you. I probably would have felt the same way. But I never meant to hurt you. I shouldn't have lost faith in you as Henry's parent._

_Emma_

Dear Miss Swan,

I'm so happy to hear that he's doing well. I'm surprised that he misses me, to be honest. Did he actually say that? The house feels so empty without him. I can't wait to see you both again. As for visiting you in Boston, I wouldn't want to impose. I'm sure I could find a hotel nearby; it is a big city, after all. I would love to come see Henry and visit his school to see what it's like. If you really are alright with it, I could take time off from work whenever you'd like. By the way, how is Henry doing in school? Is he making friends?

Regina Mills

_Regina,_

_Yes, of course he really said that! He says it all the time. Having you here wouldn't be imposing at all! Please, do come stay with us for a while. You might even like it here. There's plenty to do in the city, and I'd be happy to show you around. Henry would love to bring you to the museums here. He loves the museum of science, especially the dinosaur exhibits. The aquarium is also great. It's a lot of walking, because driving around in Boston is ridiculous, but I think you'd have fun with him. Henry is doing great in school. His grades are perfect, and he's even made a few friends already. They're pretty nice kids, too. Whenever you'd like to come down is fine by me. The sooner the better, for Henry. Just let me know and I'll make plans. Also... you can't wait to see_ _**both** _ _of us...?_

_Emma_

Miss Swan,

I suppose by that I just meant... Well... I don't know what I meant. At any rate, I still feel as though it would be inappropriate to impose on you. However, I appreciate your invitation. I have a break from work at the beginning of next month, so that would work for me, if it works for you. The museums sound fabulous. I'd love to see all the things that fascinate Henry. It's such a wonderful feeling to see his eyes light up with wonder. He's still young enough to enjoy life to the fullest. Sometimes, he reminds me what it's like to be young again. It almost hurts to know how much life has tainted me, how little of my childhood I remember. I'm so envious of his innocence. Do you ever feel that way?

Regina Mills

_Dear Regina,_

_It's okay to admit that you can't wait to see me. After all, who's around to torture you now? As for me, I can honestly that, surprisingly, I miss your company, too. You understand the darker parts of me that no one else even wants to acknowledge, especially not my parents. Everyone sees me as this perfect savior, and that's just not how it is. There are so many flaws in who I am, so many failures in my past. Now, I'm just afraid to let Henry down. I suppose I couldn't care less about living up to everyone's expectations, but Henry sees the best in me, and all I want to do is fulfill that. Do I ever regret my loss of innocence? Of course, Regina. Everyone does when they see a child. Henry still sees the best in everyone, whereas I'm innately cynical about everything. I don't trust anyone anymore, and I guard my heart fiercely, but he gives his love away to anyone he meets, holding nothing back. I wish that I could love that way again. After Neal, I've never been able to let anyone in, because I don't want to get hurt. Henry doesn't even see that as a possibility. He just loves everyone. It's a beautiful, tragic thing, isn't it? I dread the day he grows up and realizes just how imperfect and dark the world really is. In short, I don't miss being a child, but I do miss my innocence and my ability to love freely. How much longer do you think he'll be this innocent? I worry he's growing up to fast, that soon, something will spoil it all for him and break his heart. What will I even do when that happens? He's going to need more than one parent to get him through the challenges he'll face in his future. I know I can't do it alone. How do I tell my child that the world can be a cruel and terrible place? Even explaining the small things is difficult. Some days, I wish you were here to tell him the things I don't have the strength to say._

_Emma_

Dear Emma,

You are very right. He doesn't have much time left as a child, and he is growing up too fast. But you are wrong about one thing. You **can** do this on your own. You are a good mother, and he trusts you with all his heart. It will hurt him, but as long as you are honest, you will be doing right by him. That's all he's ever asked of us - honesty. It will be difficult to explain painful things to him, but he's a strong boy, and he will be able to work through it. I know you will take care of him. Don't doubt yourself. Also, Miss Swan, I'll have you know that it's perfectly peaceful here without you pestering me. But, it's true... I can't wait to see you both. And I wish I were there now, too...

Regina

_Regina,_

_Don't deny it. You do miss me! How could you not? I'm fabulous. But in all seriousness... I think you should know that I think of you often. Henry and I both do. I don't feel strong enough to do this alone..._

_Emma_

Emma,

To be quite honest, I think of you, too. I truthfully regret the time we didn't spend together. I judged you too quickly. I also regret keeping Henry from you, since it's clear that you make him so, so happy. I wish his face lit up for me me the way it does when he's with you. I think what it comes down to is that you are a better parent than I ever was or ever could be. You **are** strong enough, Emma. Please remember that.

Regina

_Regina,_

_I think that you are wrong about me, but I will try to believe you. But please, help me through this. I can't raise him on my own._

_Emma_

Dear Emma,

Your words make me feel guilty for being so far away from you both. I'm sorry that you have to do this alone. I wish you were both back in Storybrooke so that I could see him every day again. I feel so alone here, now. As much as I can, I will help you. I promise that you don't have to do this alone. I will be there as much as I possibly can. I have to tell you, though, I looked at my schedule, and I'll only be able to stay for a week this time. I'm sorry...

Yours,

Regina

_Dear Regina,_

_I suppose that's alright. I was hoping for two. Henry will be disappointed when I tell him, but I'm glad you'll at least get to stay that long. I wish you didn't have to go back, Regina. You could always move to Boston... You'd be closer to Henry..._

_Emma_

My dear Emma,

Don't sound so sad. I'll be seeing you soon. As for moving to Boston, I've honestly considered it, but Storybrooke is my home now. I belong here, even if I hate it. I would feel out of place anywhere else. But I suppose anywhere would feel like home if I were with Henry. Having you there would help, too - knowing someone nearby. Somehow, you make me feel at ease with myself, like everything I am is okay. But you make me feel like I can be better, too, for Henry and for myself. I long to know what it feels like for someone to be proud of me. I want to make Henry proud... It's hard to live up to his expectations, though. He asks a lot of me that I fear I can't deliver. I'm sorry I can't stay longer, but I'm sure we'll have a great time. In the meantime, keep your chin up, and hug Henry for me.

Yours truly,

Regina

_Regina,_

_I have been keeping my chin up, but it is difficult. I'm sure that once you're here, I'll regain my confidence, but for now, I'm also terrified of disappointing Henry. Regina... Before you come, you should know... I really do regret leaving Storybrooke. I don't know what I expect you to say to that - I suppose nothing - but I needed you to know. Henry sends his love, and I send mine._

_Emma Swan_

My dearest Emma,

I regret your leaving, too, and I can't wait to see you. Not just Henry, Emma... You. I had a dream of you last night. We were sitting in the park together, watching Henry play, and you took my hand and kissed me. When I woke up, I was crying. I don't know why I'm telling you this. It's silly. I feel ashamed, but it seems wrong to keep it from you.

Lovingly yours,

Regina

_Regina,_

_Since we're being honest, I've had those dreams, too. But why would you cry?_

_Emma_

Emma,

I suppose that I cried because I realized how brutal reality really is. You're there, and I'm here, and all we'll have together is a short visit.

Regina

_My sweet Regina,_

_Reality is what you make it._

_Emma_

Emma Swan,

I do miss you, terribly. This Friday can't come quickly enough... Each day at my office, I stare at the clock and wait for the day to end. At night, I write to you and go to bed early in hopes that the night will pass more quickly, and I think of you and Henry the moment I wake. I can't wait to see your smiling faces. I hope you'll be happy to see me, too. I've had more of those dreams since I wrote to you last...

Still yours,

Regina

_Regina,_

_By the time this letter reaches you, it will only be one or two days until I see you again, so this will be the last one for now. Of course I'll be happy to see you! I'm glad that I fill your dreams, Regina, because you also fill mine. I promise, once you're here, I'll show you._

_Yours always,_

_Emma_

* * *


	2. In Her Arms

"Oh my God," Emma exclaimed, throwing her arms around Regina, without restraint. "I can't believe you're finally here."

Her inhibitions were suppressed by her excitement, and she didn't pull away until she felt the other woman's hesitation. Her muscles seemed to harden, but she didn't pull away. Weakly, she put her arms stiffly around Emma, causing her to pull away.

"Sorry," Emma mumbled, looking down. "Um, Henry's inside. Come on in."

Inside the apartment – nothing fancy, just enough space for the two of them – Emma invited Regina to have a seat on the couch. Awkwardly, Regina accepted and sat down, wringing her hands as she looked up at the blonde.

"It's… Um…" the brunette stammered. "It's really good to see you."

"It's good to see you too," she replied. Then she turned to face the hallway and called, "Henry! Come on out! Your mom's here!"

Henry came running and jumped on Regina, wrapping his arms around her neck and squeezing as hard as his little arms would allow. Regina, of course, hugged the little boy back and rested her chin on the top of his head.

"I missed you so much, Henry," she told him. "How have you been, handsome man of mine?"

"Good! School is fun, and I have a bunch of friends now. They think I'm weird because I read so much, but they still like me!"

"That's great, honey," she said, looking over his shoulder at Emma and smiling.

Emma smiled back and sat down in a chair beside the couch, watching their reunion, her heart swelling with the tenderness of the moment. It was beautiful to see them back together. It was almost like they'd never left, but Emma couldn't forget that it had been months since the woman had seen her son. She was honestly surprised that Regina had actually let her take Henry to Boston. They decided it was a better school district and that it was better for him to be with his biological mother, but Emma felt a deep, aching guilt that she'd taken her son away. Regina had been and always would be his mother, too. They hadn't agreed to share time with him, deciding that it was best to have him stay with one parent, but again, the guilt filled Emma to the brim.

For hours, they sat together, talking about Henry's school, his friends, and his books. Regina was content to simply let him ramble, just happy to be hearing his voice again. They'd only talked on the phone a few times since they'd left, and it wasn't enough. It pained Regina to be so far away from him for such a long period of time. It felt wrong to be without him, especially when his bedroom was still setup as if he'd never left.

"So what do you guys want to do tomorrow?" Emma asked them.

"Let's go to the museum of science!" Henry exclaimed, bouncing with excitement and nodding his head.

Regina laughed – Emma blushed as she felt her heart swell at the sound – and squeezed her son tightly in her arms. Emma walked over and kissed the top of Henry's head, closing her eyes, feeling thankful for the presence and love of her son. But how must Regina feel without him? She must have been so lonely… Emma sighed to herself and looked up at Regina as Henry kept his face buried in Regina's shoulder. A small smile crept to her lips as she looked into the woman's dark eyes.

"Whatever you want to do is fine with me, Henry," Regina told him. "I'd love to see the museum with you. What kinds of exhibits to they have?"

"Dinosaurs!" Henry yelled. "Lots of dinosaurs! And they have a gift shop with all kinds of cool science toys that do a whole bunch of cool stuff. Can we look at them when we go?"

"You can have whatever you want, young man," Regina agreed. "Anything at all."

"Awesome!"

"Alright, bud," Emma said, looking over at the clock. "Time to get ready for bed."

It was past ten, past Henry's 9 PM bedtime.

Regina looked a little sad, not wanting to part with the boy for the evening but understanding that he needed his sleep. Not having seen him for so long, she couldn't get enough of his cheerful ranting and enthusiasm. It felt as though it had been more than just a few months. It felt like years, like she'd missed him growing up. He was already taller – even though he was still a little shorter than his classmates.

"Aww, come on, Emma!" he whined. "Please let me stay up later!"

"Not tonight, kiddo. You need to get your rest so we can go out tomorrow. It's gonna be a long day. It'll be great, okay? You just need to get some sleep in the meantime. I promise we'll both be here in the morning to wake you up."

When he finally agreed to get ready for bed, after much pouting, they each sat on one side of his bed to tuck him in. After both of them kissed his forehead and said goodnight, they rose and walked to the door.

Just before Emma could switch the light out, Henry asked, "Mom, will you read me a story?"

Regina looked to Emma for approval, and when Emma nodded, she nodded to Henry and sat back down, taking the heavy storybook out of his hands and opening to the page he had left off on. Emma sat down on the other side of Henry, listening to the sound of Regina's voice as she read to their son. She felt her heart flutter with each of her words and subconsciously shut her eyes, enraptured by every syllable but trying not to show it.

She stayed in the trance until Regina finally trailed off and whispered, "Emma? I think he's asleep."

Her eyes shot open and her cheeks flushed, embarrassed that Regina had probably seen her eyes shut.

"You look tired. Maybe we should turn in, too."

"No," Emma asserted. "I'm fine. Are you tired?"

"No," Regina admitted softly, standing up and setting the book down on Henry's nightstand.

"Then let's go sit in the living room for a while. We could watch a movie or something?" she offered.

Regina nodded, and the two quietly left the room, shutting off the light before they exited. In the living room, Regina sat down on the couch, awkwardly wringing her hands again. Her eyes would not meet Emma's as the woman sat back down in the chair beside the couch.

"What's the matter?" Emma asked, concern filling her voice.

"Nothing," Regina said quickly. "Nothing."

"Regina?"

"Yes?"

"Did I do something wrong? You seem really upset."

Emma bit her bottom lip, and Regina started to stare, watching as Emma's tongue slipped out and wet her lips. She swallowed hard, suddenly captivated against her will. Something about Emma was too alluring to refrain from reacting. As she zoned out, she completely forgot about Emma's question, and therefore, did not reply. When she didn't say anything, Emma repeated her name, leaning in, nervously touching Regina's shoulder lightly. Regina instantly snapped out of her trance and instinctively pulled away. Emma immediately pulled her hand back, her face growing warm with embarrassment.

"I'm sorry," Emma said, anxiously gripping her knees.

"No, I'm sorry," Regina jumped in, fighting the fear she was feeling and reaching for Emma's hand. "Please, forgive me. I'm just not… I'm not used to being… I'm sorry…"

Emma startled at the touch, surprised at the softness of her fingertips.

"It's alright," she said, looking down. "I understand."

Regina dared herself not to pull her hand away, forcing herself to stay frozen in that position, even though her muscles were tightening in protest.

"I just feel so awkward," Regina confessed. "After everything I told you… It's one thing to say it in a letter when you can't see my face… Being in front of you now, I can honestly say that I'm… I'm… embarrassed. Extremely embarrassed."

"Oh, Regina!" Emma cried. "Please don't be."

The blonde quickly jumped up out of her seat and sat next to Regina on the couch. Gathering her bravery, she rested her hand on Regina's thigh.

"I told you; I've been having the same dreams…"

"Do you mean that, or are you just trying to make me feel less ashamed about it?"

Emma blinked at her, surprised at the question. Of course Regina doubted her. She could understand the woman's uncertainty. It had been difficult for her to admit it, too. What did the dreams even mean? And what did it mean that Regina was having them too?

"I would never lie to you," Emma promised, looking deeply into her eyes.

"So, what do you think it means?" Regina asked shyly.

"I don't know what it means for you," Emma told her, "but I know that I've… developed… um…"

She trailed off and broke the gaze, a blush rising to her pale cheeks.

"Me too," Regina interjected, taking the burden of the confession off of Emma's shoulders, which she was grateful for.

"Oh, God," Emma breathed. "Do you mean it?"

Regina nodded and also looked down, too scared to meet Emma's eyes. Bravely, Emma reached over and lifted her chin and looked into her eyes.

"You can kiss me."

Regina's cheeks reddened to match Emma's, and she swallowed her fear. She scooted closer and hesitated, but Emma moved closer, too, giving her courage to proceed. When their lips finally touched, the kiss initiated by Regina, Emma felt sparks fly, just like in all the romance movies – a feeling nothing less than perfect. Regina's breath caught in her throat, and she only pulled away to suck in just enough air to keep her lungs full. Emma heard the shallow gasp and took it as an invitation to deepen the kiss as she cupped the brunette's face in her hands.

"This is what I dreamed of," Emma mumbled, her voice muffled by the closeness of Regina's lips.

"Me, too."


	3. Goodbyes

For the next week, Regina and Emma hid their dalliance from Henry. Day after day, though, they exchanged tender looks, unable to keep the affection from their eyes. Over the weekend, they visited their favorite museums and restaurants. Emma even excused Henry from doing his homework, understanding that each minute with his mother was precious. Every time they hugged, she saw the pain in Regina's eyes, knowing that at the end of the week, she would have to return to Storybrooke. Thinking of her leaving made Emma nauseous, so they both avoided discussing it, silently agreeing to focus on the time they did have together rather than the time they'd be apart.

At the museum of science, Henry's energy level was incredibly high. He refused to sit still, refused to speak more slowly, and refused to settle down as he rambled about one thing or another. It seemed as though he had an infinite number of words to share with them, barely stopping to breathe between sentences.

"Calm down, little guy!" Emma laughed, ruffling his hair. "We're not gonna leave you. We're listening. Okay?"

He nodded his head enthusiastically, but didn't slow his speech. In fact, it seemed to go more rapid throughout the day, especially by the time they reached Henry's favorite dinosaur exhibit.

"Look, look, look!" he yelled, jumping up and down, staring up at the life-sized Tyrannosaurus rex in front of them. "Can you believe they were real? I wish they were still alive!"

Emma and Regina laughed, each placing a hand on his shoulder as they read the information on the plaques to him and both learned a little bit more than they already knew about the ancient creatures - even though Henry had already done plenty of reading on the ancient creature and know quite a bit. Henry was right; it was pretty incredible, but it was even more amazing to watch the boy get so ecstatic over something to simple. For the rest of the day, Henry bounced around excitedly, holding Regina's hand the whole time. Emma smiled to herself, loving just watching them together, watching the way Regina looked at her son. Again, though, it pained her to know the woman was leaving in a few more days. They looked so perfect together that it seemed intensely wrong to separate them. In those moments, Emma regretted leaving Storybrooke more than ever and doubted her choices, even though she'd made them with Henry's best interests in mind.

At the end of the day, they brought Henry to the gift shop, as promised, and Regina bought him all the toys he wanted. Most of them were chemistry sets, meant to simulate small explosions. Another toy was a stuffed green dinosaur, a Tyrannosaurus rex. He was a little old to still be collecting stuffed animals, but on the other hand, it was his favorite animal, so they didn't think twice about it.

On the way back to the apartment, Henry fell asleep on the train, and Regina wrapped her arm around him, letting his head rest on her shoulder. To Emma, it was the most perfect thing she'd ever seen, but as Henry slept and finally stayed quiet, she grew more and more captivated by watching Regina and the way her hair fell into her eyes as she looked down at her son.

"You are a really beautiful woman, you know," Emma told her, a little embarrassed to actually be saying it out loud.

"Thank you," Regina replied, blushing and finally looking up at Emma.

When they reached their stop, Regina reluctantly woke Henry. As he stood up on wobbly legs, she thought back to when he was small enough for her to carry. Now, he'd have to walk his sleepy self back to the apartment on his own. She hated waking him when he looked so peaceful, but she looked forward to tucking him in to bed. The feeling of being a parent again made her feel whole. Emma smiled as she watched Regina get him settled in. When they turned the lights out, they sat in the living room together. They chose a movie – a drama – and sat beside each other until it was well past one in the morning.

When they both started to yawn, Emma grudgingly suggested, "Maybe we should get to bed."

"Wait," Regina said, touching her hand. "I just want to say thank you, for today. It was really great to be with you both, and to have you around again. I truly missed your company, Miss Swan."

"Stop calling me that," Emma sighed. "Just call me Emma."

"Alright," Regina agreed, nodding her head slowly.

They sat in silence for a few moments, until Regina stood up and faced Emma.

"Goodnight, Mi... er... Emma."

"Goodnight, Regina."

Emma gave a little wave as Regina shut herself in the guest bedroom. In her own room, Emma lay awake with her mind racing. _How am I going to let her go?_ she thought, staring up at the ceiling. She dreaded the next weekend, knowing that she wouldn't be seeing Regina at for least another two months. _Too long. Way too long._ She felt her heart throb with longing as she imagined their departure. Regina would wave goodbye, get back in her car, and drive away. They wouldn't kiss in front of Henry, so Emma pictured their private goodbye. What would she say? What could she say? She thought of the letters she would write and wondered what she'd say. Were they even together? Not being sure, Emma felt insecure and unsure of where she stood with the beautiful brunette. In their last moments alone, would Regina kiss her? Would it be a peck on the lips, or something deeper? The previous night had confused her, made her doubt herself. Regina hadn't kissed her that day – although they hadn't been given much of an opportunity, since Henry had been with them the whole day. But she could have kissed her goodnight, though she didn't. Had it just been a one-time thing? Emma cringed. These thoughts played over and over in her mind under exhaustion took over, but not until a few hours later. Her anxiety had kept her awake. Her sleep was fitful, full of empty, agonizing goodbyes.

In the morning, Emma woke from a nightmare as sunlight streamed in and splashed on her face. She groaned and rolled over, rubbing her eyes and blinking them open reluctantly. Too shy to wear her pajamas in front of Regina, she took a quick shower and got dressed before going to wake Henry up. Regina was still sleeping. She fixed Henry his breakfast and got him ready for school. The weekend was over all too soon, and it was finally the dreaded Monday. As Henry ate and Emma drank a cup of French vanilla coffee, Regina appeared sleepily in the kitchen. She was fully dressed, but looked as if she hadn't gotten any sleep at all.

"Good morning," she mumbled.

"You okay?" Emma asked, looking her up and down for clues as to why she might look so exhausted.

"Mhmm," Regina responded.

Emma shrugged and asked, "Coffee?"

Regina nodded, and Emma fixed her a cup; they both took their coffee black. She fixed Henry's lunch – peanut butter and jelly, with peanut butter on both sides of the bread with the jelly in the middle – and watched the two of them converse excitedly about this and that. At 7:10, Emma glanced at the clock and sighed, sadness spreading over her face.

"Time to go, bud," she told Henry, gathering his backpack and his lunch for him. "You coming, Regina?"

The brunette nodded again and left the apartment with them. They took the train to his school – driving in Boston was too much of a horrendous pain in the ass – and walked him all the way to his classroom. They both kissed his cheek goodbye, and Emma bit her lip as she watched him enter the classroom and gather with his group of friends.

"I hate watching him go," Emma said. "I wish I could be with him all the time."

"I look forward to spending time with you, though," Regina told her, shrugging her shoulders.

It wasn't that Regina didn't want to see Henry – it was extremely hard to part with him, knowing that their time was limited – but she hadn't had more than a few moments alone with Emma, and although she dreaded the sensitive conversations she knew they were about to have, she looked forward to adult conversations with the woman she'd come to care so much for.

"I'd love to show you around the city," Emma said. "There's a ton of restaurants I haven't taken you to that are totally perfect."

Regina smiled. Emma's obvious excitement was infectious, and she looked forward to exploring the city that Emma called home. Little did she know, though, that Emma no longer referred to the city as home. She felt as though the only place she was home was with her son, and that it was only by change that it happened to be Boston. While Henry was at school, Emma showed her the city's famous landmarks – the Freedom Trail, the U.S.S. Constitution, the Boston Monument, Faneuil Hall, the Holocaust Memorial – and took her to lunch at Durgin Park. They both ordered seafood, given that it was a local specialty. Regina tried to pay the bill, but Emma gently slapped her hand away.

"My treat," she insisted, giving the waitress her debit card.

"Thank you," Regina said shyly.

_Is this a date?_ Emma couldn't tell, but it certainly felt like one. They hadn't kissed or held hands, but she definitely felt the tension between them. They playful teases only made it seem more obvious. Every time Regina laughed, Emma felt her heart choke in her throat, but still, she didn't dare to kiss her, even though each smile made her want to claim the woman's lips. By the time Henry was being let out of school, they were exhausted from walking. Still, they walked around the city some more, Henry in tow, and had dinner out (Emma didn't like to cook).

The rest of the week went on like that – Emma and Regina exploring the city until their feet hurt and they picked Henry up from school. A few nights, when they got back to the apartment, they played board games and watched movies, but Emma grew uncomfortable with just now normal it felt. Regina simply seemed to belong, like she had always been meant to be there with them. Each night, they said goodnight to their son together and stayed up late talking and watching movies – though they didn't touch again.

"I can't do this alone," Emma blurted out in the middle of a movie. "I need you here."

"I'm sorry," Regina said softly, knowing the visit was fleeting and that in two days, she would be leaving again.

Emma wasn't sure what she'd expected Regina to say to this, but she'd at least figured it would be something more than 'sorry.' Feeling silly for her confession, she went quiet and stared at the television screen but completely ignored the movie.

"I really am," Regina repeated, looking over at Emma.

"Yeah."

"Please believe me. I'm sorry you have to do this alone."

"Like you said," Emma said casually, "I'll get through this. He'll be okay. I just wish it was more than just me raising him."

Not knowing what to say, Regina stayed quiet, and they both pretended to watch the rest of the movie until it was over. They said their goodnights and disappeared into their respective rooms, but again, they were both up half the night thinking of their departure and the way things would be once Regina returned to Maine.

On the morning of Regina's leave, Emma pulled her aside, dreading the moment that was to come.

"I'm going to miss you," she confessed.

"I'll miss you too."

Though Emma wanted the kiss she'd spent so many nights dreaming of, she just put her arms around the other woman and gave her a light hug, pulling away after only a short amount of time. Emma longed for more time to embrace her, to hold her, to beg her not to leave, but she moved away and allowed the moment to end.

Their final goodbye in front of Henry was a cold, simple handshake.


	4. Missing You

Miss Regina Mills,

Thank you so much for visiting Henry and I. He misses you already. He complains every day about you leaving and begs me to tell you to move to Boston. It breaks my heart to see him so upset, but I don't know what to tell him. I simply told him that this was how things had to be, and that it was best for everyone, but of course, he didn't believe me. Honestly, I'm not sure that I believe me either. It's not that I lied to him – part of me believes it – but some other part of me wonders if I made the right decision. I can hardly bear to say this, but Regina… I think I made a mistake. Having you here only made me realize it. I don't say this to guilt you – I know you're just doing what's best for you and making the most of a difficult situation – I just want you to know that I regret what I've done and wish that things could change. But it's too late now, and I fear that I've done Henry wrong by taking him away from you. He deserves a better parent than I can be for him. I'm just not cut out to be a parent – I never was. I'm so blessed to have him back in my life, but I worry that I'm only hurting him more with the choices I've made. Anyway, I'm rambling. I must sound pathetic. I want to crumple this letter already, but I don't know what else to say. How are things for you? Is it good to be back at work? I know how restless you get when you're not busy.

Emma Swan

_Miss Swan,_

_Please don't talk that way. You are a wonderful parent. You must know that. I'm the one lacking in parenting skills. He's much happier with you. He may love me, but he doesn't trust me, and he trusts you with his whole heart. That is a blessing. His heart is so full and forgiving, and his love for you is a beautiful thing. I just wish he could love me as much as he loves you, but I've never been the woman that you are. I've never been good the way you have. Deep down, Emma, I am the Evil Queen. Henry deserves so much more than that, and that is why he's there in Boston with you – because you can do right by him. To be frank, work has been terrible. Since I've come back, I haven't been able to keep my mind on any task at all. All I can think of is you and Henry, of being in Boston with you both. I feel so out of place here. It feels so wrong. I can't look at anyone the same way. No matter how many people I surround myself with, none of them are you. None of them are Henry. I have never felt so empty._

_Regina Mills_

Regina,

You're about as evil as I am. We both have our dark sides, and that doesn't mean that we're bad people. Deep down, Regina, you are **not** evil. Your heart is full of love – you just have trouble showing it. Think of Henry. How much do you love him? Would you die for him? I know you would. I don't know anyone who loves their child as much as you love him. I'm so sorry that you don't feel at home there. I wish there was something I could say to comfort you, but I know that there isn't. It hurts me to think of you in pain. If there was anything I could do to take that pain away from you, I would do it. I hope you know that. I care for you so deeply… Please don't think that's silly.

Emma

_Emma,_

_I know you love Henry just as much as I do. And you're right; I do love him – so, so much. I would die for him. He's the only one I've ever felt so strongly for. Except… Emma… You've made me feel more in these past months than I've ever felt before. I can't explain it, but when I'm with you, I feel like I belong. I know that's silly, but I just can't shake the feeling that I'm where I'm supposed to be when we're together. If there was some way to raise Henry together, for me to help you through this, I would. But things just didn't work out that way. I truly am sorry that things are the way they are. I feel terribly for leaving you on your own to parent him, but I just don't know what else I can do. And, Emma… I care for you, too…_

_Yours truly,_

_Regina_

My Sweet Regina,

I can't keep this from you. Seeing those words on the page makes my heart race. I can't sleep at night anymore. I watch you drive away every single night as I try to fall sleep. No matter what I try, I can't rest until hours and hours have passed. I rewind to when you were here and picture you kissing our son goodnight, imagining that you're with me again. I don't know what to make of what happened between us while you were here – I know we haven't talked about it, but I just can't hold it in anymore – and I just feel so confused, so broken without you. Regina… what are we?

Yours,

Emma

_Dearest Emma,_

_I'm confused, too. I don't know what we are, or what even happened between us. What do you want us to be?_

_Lovingly,_

_Regina_

Dear Regina,

What do I want us to be? What about you? Just tell me how you feel about us. Just tell me what this is.

With love,

Emma

_Emma,_

_This is ridiculous. Why does it have to be me who says it first?_

_Regina_

Regina,

Alright, dammit! Since you're too much of a coward to tell me your feelings, I'll throw my heart on the line for you, because I can't stop myself. Regina, you are the mother of my son. I could never imagine another woman in my life who could make me feel as whole as you do. When you were here, I felt like I belonged, like everything was going to be okay. Watching you leave tore my heart out. What do I want? I want you to move to Boston. I want you to help me raise my son, and I want you to be with me.

All my love,

Emma Swan

_Darling Emma,_

_That's all I needed to know. Can I come down next weekend?_

_Your truly,_

_Regina_

My Regina,

Of course you can come down next weekend! Please, please do… I can't wait any longer to see you. Henry is dying to have you back. He keeps asking why I let you leave, and it takes everything in me not to cry. Please, please say you'll stay…

Lovingly yours,

Emma

_My Emma,_

_Where you are is where I want to stay. I'll see you soon!_

_Yours always,_

_Regina_


	5. Staying

Back in Boston, Emma had let go of her inhibitions. _Life's too short_ , she reasoned. By the time Regina arrived, her heart was bursting. As soon as Regina emerged from the car, she threw her arms around the woman and buried her face in her shoulder.

"Regina," Emma whispered, her lips close to the brunette's ear.

Regina shivered, reacting to the heat of her breath. She leaned back against the side of the car, pulling Emma with her, pressing their hips together in an intimate embrace. Regina pressed her forehead against Emma's and looked into her eyes.

"You're really staying?"

Regina nodded. They had decided that Regina would move in with Emma until she found her own place, though secretly, Emma hoped that she would stay. Still, she couldn't tell Regina that. She didn't want to move too quickly, but she was no longer confused about her feelings. _She's everything_ , Emma knew. Seeing the woman with her son only made her more sure of that. The silence grew awkward, but Emma didn't pull away, and Regina just held her tighter, fighting her nerves. She hadn't been intimate with anyone since Daniel, and she wasn't sure how to act around Emma – how far to go, how long to touch, what to say, or how to say it.

"I don't know how to do this," Regina told her, her face flushing.

"Me, either," Emma confessed. "I just know that I belong with you."

Regina continued to blush, holding Emma's body against hers.

"Can I kiss you?" she asked, looking into her lover's eyes.

"Of course," Emma whispered back, leaning in until Regina pressed their lips together.

The kiss seemed to last forever, both reluctant to pull away. As their lips moved together gently, Regina slid her hands up and down Emma's sides, savoring the feeling of each curve.

"I'm so happy you're here," Emma mumbled against her lips.

"I'm glad too, darling…"

Slowly, Regina turned them around and leaned Emma up against the car, continuing to kiss her. She took both of the blonde's hands and gently held them against the metal of the car and leaned further into the kiss. Emma found herself unable to suppress a whimper and felt her insides squirm. Every dream she'd had was becoming a reality, and with every kiss, she only wanted more.

"We should tell Henry you're here," Emma sighed, reaching up and stroking Regina's hair, not wanting to move away or end the moment.

Regina nodded weakly and stepped away, taking Emma's hand and walking her from the parking garage to the apartment building, ascending the stairs, anticipating the attack of affection she was about to receive. Sure enough, once upstairs, Henry nearly tackled her, squeezing her as hard as he could.

"Mom!" he yelled, tightening his grip.

She held him, too, resting her head on top of his.

"Hey, sweetheart."

"Is it true?" Henry asked. "Are you really staying?"

She nodded again and straightened the collar of his shirt.

"I am."

He jumped up and bounced on the balls of his feet. Emma felt her heart swelling, knowing that she was exactly where she was meant to be. With Regina, she felt complete. It was the first time she'd ever felt like she had a real family. Even with Mary Margaret and David, she felt extremely out of place, like she didn't belong. But with Regina and Henry, she was whole. And Henry couldn't have been happier. Watching him interact with her, she could see the happiness in his eyes. Regina didn't feel that Henry loved her as much as he loved Emma, but it was clear to Emma that he adored Regina just as much as his biological mother. He loved them equally, the angel that he was, and that comforted Emma. She just hoped that someday, Regina could believe it.

That night, they sat on the couch together after Henry went to bed and looked into each other's eyes.

"Are we going to be coy again?" Emma asked playfully, touching Regina's hand, feeling her confidence building.

"No," Regina promised, leaning in and kissing her lips.

Emma straddled her lap, swallowing her nerves and forcing herself to fight the fear. Regina pulled the woman closer, sliding her hands up and down Emma's sides. They kept kissing, and Regina felt her heartbeat sputter, skip a few beats, then speed up. She pulled the woman closer, pressing her hands against Emma's back. Regina's hands slid over the woman's thighs and she felt her core grow hot with desire.

"This is everything I wanted," Regina said, pressing her forehead against the blonde's.

But it wasn't quite true. Regina felt the sting as the slight lie slipped past her lips. It hadn't been intentional, but as she thought about what she'd said, she realized that she wanted so much more. Her eyes dropped to Emma's breasts, taking in the sight of their perfect curves, feeling the wetness between her legs.

"That's all?" Emma questioned, trying to tease but the disappointment filling her voice.

"No," Regina admitted, unable to take her eyes off Emma's curves.

Emma licked her lips again, and Regina looked up just in time to see.

"Do you want to?" Emma invited.

"Yes."

Emma took her hand and led her to the bedroom, straddling her hips again as Regina sat down on the king size bed. Her confidence was lacking, but she left her hands on Emma's waist as she let the blonde start to undress her, tossing each article to the floor, one by one.

"I'm scared," Regina confessed, her eyes watering.

"I know," Emma agreed. "Me, too. But I want this with you."

Regina nodded and lifted Emma's shirt over her head. Emma shivered, the slight coldness of the room causing goosebumps to cover her arms. Or was it Regina's touch?

As they made love, Regina couldn't take her eyes off Emma's, and with each gasp, thrust, and moan, she felt herself falling harder.


	6. Chapter 6

Dear Ruby,

You told me to write you and tell you how we're doing. I miss you all a lot, and I wish you were here with me. I'd love to show you the city. Henry's doing great in school, and he's making friends quickly. I've actually been writing to Regina, too. It's been interesting. She seems to really understand my struggles with Henry and the problems I've been having as a parent. It makes me regret the way I doubted her when I was in Storybrooke. Do you think I'm a terrible person for the way I treated her?

Emma

_Dear Emma,_

_Of course you're not a terrible person. You know how I feel about Regina. She's never been my favorite person. I just don't trust her. I don't know how you can, honestly. But, no, I don't think you did her wrong. She honestly didn't do much to gain people's trust – especially not yours. She tried to keep Henry from you, Emma. You need to remember that. You need to remember what she's capable of. She might seem to understand what you're going through, but Regina is ultimately in everything for herself. That's all she cares about. The fact that you doubted her parenting skills is only natural. I doubt them too, and I'm glad that Henry is in Boston with you. Though I will say I miss you terribly! Come visit soon, Emma!_

_Yours,_

_Ruby_

Dear Ruby,

I don't think you understand. Regina isn't the person she seems to be. She's made mistakes, but she's a good mother. Yes, she tried to keep Henry from me, but she did it out of love for him. She did it because she wanted to protect him and because – a little selfishly – she didn't want to lose him or share him with me. But I waltzed into her life at a very sensitive time for her and Henry, and that was really difficult for her to deal with. It doesn't make her a bad mother, and it definitely doesn't make her a bad person. She's more than she appears to be. Deep down, she's a good person. Ruby, I really don't feel like I can raise Henry myself. This is all so hard. I can't imagine having to explain to him just how dark the world can really be. He's so innocent, and I can't stand the thought of him losing that. Regina understands that fear better than anyone I know, and writing to her has really helped me to clear my head. Please don't judge her for the mistakes she's made in her past.

Emma

_Emma,_

_I guess – just for you – I can try to forgive her, but I'm not too keen on it. She's hurt you Emma, and I hate her for it. I'll try to get over it, but it's so, so hard to let it go when I know how much pain she caused you. It's very big of you to forgive her, and I'm glad that she seems to be helping you through this. I just want you to be careful. I don't want to see you get hurt again. And I certainly don't want to see her hurt Henry. It kills me to think of you two going through that again. It seems to me that she'll always be the Evil Queen. I know she's tried to make up for her sins, but the destruction she's brought against everyone here in Storybrooke is just so immense that it's hard to forget her transgressions. But again, for you, I will try. You know how much I care about you, and if you honestly believe that she's a good person, I trust your judgement._

_Ruby_

Dearest Ruby,

It's sweet that you care so much about us and our wellbeing, but you're being too hard on Regina. We've made plans for her to come down here to visit, and I'm really excited. Henry is really looking forward to it. He misses her terribly. I just want to see him happy, you know? Anyway, I think it'll be good for him to see her again. She is a good parent, Ruby. She is. How are things on your end?

Emma

_Emma,_

_How was your visit with Regina? Things are okay up here. Your mom and dad are doing well, disgustingly in love, as always. They're totally gross. I wish you'd write to them and tell them to knock off it off with all the mushy stuff in public. Yuck! Anyway, I'm doing well too. I've been spending more and more time with Belle… She's a wonderful girl, Emma. I can't explain it, but when I'm with her, my heart starts pounding, and my chest tightens like I can't even breathe. Last week, she saw me as a wolf – long story short, it was an accident – but she didn't even flinch or back away from me. She just touched head and smiled at me, like she wasn't even afraid. I thought I was going to cry. What's up with this, Emma? What am I going to do? I can't stand to fall in love with her, but I don't know how to stop…_

_Your friend always,_

_Ruby_

Ruby dearest,

Oh, honey. You should tell her how you feel. I'm sure she feels the same. You're a wonderful girl, and she would be lucky to have you. For the whole time I've known you both, she's always looked at you with deep affection. If I had to guess, I'd say it was more than just friends. Don't be afraid to take a risk on her. Don't you think she's worth it? I know it's scary to have those feelings – terrifying, really – but I know you can push through your fear. You have to be careful; if you don't tell her, you could lose her, and that's the last thing you want. When you love someone, you have to let them know. As for my visit… it was wonderful, Ruby… Something crazy happened, though… I kissed her, Rubes. I don't even know what happened. I just couldn't... I couldn't help myself. Her lips… her eyes… Shit. Sorry. Um… You know what I mean. I'm sure you feel the same way about Belle. I couldn't stop myself. It was really weird though, because the rest of the week, we didn't talk about it. We didn't even touch. Now that she's gone… I miss her so much… It feels wrong here without her around. Henry's miserable now that she's gone. What am I going to do, Ruby? How do I tell her? I know I have to, I just don't know how.

Emma

_Emma,_

_Like you told me, you just have to say it. Again, if she kissed you back, I'm sure she feels the same. Just to be honest, that totally grosses me out. I can't believe you guys are actually together. Anyway, to change the subject back to myself and away from your dalliance with the Queen… I told Belle. Know what happened? She freaked out. No, I'm kidding. She kissed me! Then she told me she'd felt that way since she met me, that she'd always seen me as more than a friend. I couldn't believe it! You were totally right, Emma. Thank you so much for being the best friend ever… I'm so lucky to have you. Is Henry into girls yet? That'll be a real parenting adventure for you!_

_Ruby_

Dear Ruby,

Must you call it gross? You're so crude sometimes. I need you to understand this. I have no one else to talk to. It's not like I can tell my mother. She'd flip. I just need you to be supportive of me right now. I'm freaking out. I've fallen for her, Rubes. I can't stop thinking about her. I can't sleep at night. I get stomachaches thinking about her leaving. I want her to move here with me and Henry. I can't swallow my feelings anymore, no matter how hard I've tried. We're still writing letters, and I asked her what we were – given the whole kiss thing – and she basically refused to be the one to say it. It was so ridiculous, but now I have to do it. I have to tell her. She needs to know, right? Right…? I don't know what to do. How am I supposed to tell her that I want her here to stay? That I can't stand to be without her anymore? That I'm dying without her here?

Emma

_Emma Swan,_

_Girl, you've just gotta be honest. I can't believe this. I never thought I'd see you so head over heels. You've never been the type to fall in love, Emma, so I'm definitely surprised. Not to pick on you. Sorry. I am crude. You're right. My apologies. This is all just weird for me, and I don't really know how to handle it. The next thing I know, you're going to be writing me to tell me you're engaged and then I'll be getting wedding invitations. And you're right… your mom is going to lose her shit. No matter what, I want you to know that I'm happy for you. Being in love is a beautiful thing, even if it's difficult and complicated._

_Ruby_

Dear Rubes,

I told her. She's moving to Boston! Can you believe it? I never thought it would work out this way. Honestly, I thought she was going to laugh at me. But I was brave and I told her and she's going to be here next week! Henry's ecstatic, too. I don't know how to explain it to you, Ruby. It's just… when she's here, everything feels perfect. Watching her with Henry, I melt. I can't raise him on my own. I need her. Please don't tell Mary Margaret…

Emma

_Emma,_

_You know I won't tell on you, silly. I would never do that. But eventually, she's going to find out, so you'd better just tell her now and get it over with. Seriously, though… when's the wedding?_

_Ruby_

Ruby,

You're hilarious. You know how I feel about marriage. Anyway, we're not moving that fast. We're just trying things to see how they go. She's getting her own place as soon as she finds one. I'm not telling Mary Margaret yet. There's no way. She will seriously freak out.

Emma

_Emma,_

_Tell your mother. She IS going to freak out, but she deserves to know, especially if Regina is living with you in the meantime. She's your mom, and she's Henry's grandmother. She should know if Regina is going to be parenting him, too. And honestly… that's kind of cute. I do believe that she loves him, and now that I know you love her, I believe in your relationship and I want to see it succeed. I'm sorry I ever doubted you. Can I come visit you guys soon?_

_Ruby_

Ruby,

Of course you can! You can come down whenever you want to. We have a spare bedroom you can use, and you can stay as long as you want. I miss you way too much! I'll tell her… eventually…

Emma

_Emma,_

_Good. The sooner the better. Just get it over with. Rip the bandaid off quick or it's going to hurt more!_

_Ruby_

Ruby,

I told her. You were right. She freaked out. She won't talk to me now.

Emma

_Emma,_

_She'll get over it, Emma. Don't worry. Just worry about your own happiness. If she's what makes you happy, she's the one you need to be with, no matter what your mom says._

_Ruby_

Ruby,

Thanks, Rubes. I'm so glad I have you. I'm sure you're right. She'll get over it after a while. Things will blow over.

Emma

**EIGHT MONTHS LATER**

Ruby,

Well, you were right. I want you to know that you're the first one I'm telling this to. She took me to the park last night, got down on one knee, and asked me to marry her. I said yes! Henry couldn't be happier, and I still can't even believe it happened. Now I just have to figure out how to tell Mom and Dad…

Yours,

Emma

_Emma,_

_Oh, my God. CONGRATULATIONS, DARLING! I'd better be in the wedding!_

_Ruby_

Dearest Ruby,

The wedding is going to be next August, and OF COURSE you'll be in it. You and Belle both! Will you be my maid of honour? I know you've had doubts about us, but I want you to know, just for the record… I've never been happier than I am with her, and I don't see how I ever could be. She's perfect for me in every way.

Your loving friend,

Emma

* * *


End file.
